Silent Battles, Clear Headspace

The simple answer.. nope you can't. 

And I say that as a matter of fact because looks can be deceiving and you should never judge a book by its cover..

Unfortantly for you guys.. I'm going to use me as an example.. haha.. but hopefully it'll make sense.

The picture above.. I look happy right. Make up is on, hairs done.. yes it needs redoing haha.. but I'm smiling. 

The picture below.. I look upset, stressed, lost. Something is clearly worrying me. 

Want to know a secret. Both pictures I'm fighting. I'm battling. The top picture I'm masking it completely. Acting like it's not there. The bottom picture I'm not masking anything. The picture says it all.

These pictures were taking 2 days apart. And to show you how people can mask their mental health.. I released this website 3 weeks later. 

The sad and somewhat worrying fact.. unless you follow my instagram.. and I hadn't of said.. you wouldn't have known. And it's not just me that gets masked up and goes unnoticed. Millions of people do. And for soooo many reasons.. 

Everywhere you look, whether it be out in public on boards or signs, or adverts online, in magazines and newspapers or if it's been spoke about on tv, radio, podcasts and even social media platforms.. you see things like "don't suffer in silence!" "Your mental health matters" "reach out" and so on.. the constant reminder that everyone and anyone can suffer with some sort of mental health issue. Whether it's something that will pass as such or whether it's a long term obstacle, is made obvious.. but do you know what isn't obvious.. 

The amount of people getting lost, dismissed, not listened to or ignored due to the mental health. Told it'll go away with less stress, told to exercise, sleep better or eat better. That X, Y and Z will solve everything. 
I can say this because I myself have got this reaction from several people including friends, family and professionals who are meant to help. I know others who have had the same or worse. And the worst part I think is when your called a liar or your faking it for attention.. like I've seen and felt myself. 

No one actually knows what anyone is facing daily. Unless they tell you.. you have no idea.

And one things I've always been told and something I tell other people is a problem shared is a problem halved. Don't keep it to yourself. Let someone help. 

But the issue with this.. when you do.. open up that is. Sometimes.. It gets shoved back in your face. Like above getting told to do X, Y and Z and everything will be fine. But it's not the right answer at all.. 

The ones that do get help can be very limited help and support. And that's not their fault but what ever reason whether it's lack of funding or professionals. This I know from first had experience. But regardless the help received is absolutely brilliant. 

So I've learnt and created my own therapy and help as such. Now of course me being me.. I've got several things I use.. 

First being diary's and notebooks! 
These I can not live without.. and I'll happily admit although my husband may not be too happy.. haha.. I buy at least 2 new notebooks and diary's a month. Yep.. 2! First rule.. you can not ever ever EVER have enough diary's or notebooks. Our mental health can act, react, explode, implode or however you like to describe it in any way.. whether it's from grief, trauma, stress, or just sit life.. it can just change. Sometimes it can be unexpected and just hit you.. sometimes it creeps up on you but you know it's coming.. and sometimes it just lingers. 

But I've honestly found writing things down really helps. I can write pages and pages some days. Other days it's just a few words, phrases, feelings, thoughts.. sometimes I doodle! Over the years I've started adding or should I say making my diary's more readable. Adding stickers, drawings, doodles and other bits to my pages. To some it would look like a bullet journal type thing.. but to me.. it's me letting go of all that pressure. Good or bad. But things I don't need constantly repeating over and over. 

Thanks to my brother Jake.. this is called Brain Dump 101. 

In 2021 I created a group with Jake called FND & US. For those living with FND. Whether you have fnd, care for someone with fnd or know someone with and want to learn more about fnd.. our group became a family. And in turn we use this Brain Dump 101 to let go of things distracting or not helping us. 

Since that point.. Brain Dump 101 has been a big help and useful technique for me. Yes ok.. some of the stuff I write down makes no sense at all.. it's complete and utter bullshit.. sorry not sorry! But it's helped and continuing to help me! 

Both of these have lead me to fully putting my writing skills out into the public.. first with my unwired world a Wordpress blog site.. to now having my own website.. Wait.. I'm Disabled?!

Second.. Art! 

In any shape or form.. from traditional styles with canvases and paints to the most modern way.. digital art. I use different textures and materials. And I just love creating pieces whether they get released into the wild public.. or whether they stay locked away in my private world.. 

For me art has always been a massive love and passion of mine. From an early age like performing.. it's been something I've skilled up on as I've grown. Admittedly I'm no Van Gogh or some highly experienced digital artist.. hell no! But I am my own person.. and everyone sees things differently. What I interpret one piece to be.. someone else could have a whole new different and compelling take on it. It's like I can release any type of feeling onto a fresh canvas or on my screen and I can just let go.. and let my creative spark run wild. 

I've noticed a pattern with my art too. Specially with my mental health. I will always use bright colours. My choice is always a dark backing so my work catches your eye. But when my mental health isn't in a good place, the landscape views are my go to. When I'm feeling better, flowers, cartoons and the weird doodles come out.. when I'm just lost in art.. it all literally pours out like a unicorn pooping glitter.. I've done my own portraits of famous people just from pictures. I've drawn myself and my husband.. seasonal characters get a look in too.. now I'm just rambling!! 

From a simple love and a passion of mine.. to now a fully functional therapy as such. It's another way to release words can't! 

Third.. my fashion and jewellery. 

Would you believe me if I said.. 4 years ago I fell in love with my own style and fashion after becoming really ill.. not finding things that fit or was comfy or I could move about in with my crutches. I actually stopped worrying about others and trying to fit in with the latest trends and did me! 

Clearly I soon realised I wasn't going to have an easy ride finding the right clothing.. so I decided I needed to do something. And from that point on.. I beat every goal I set myself. I now have 2 diplomas. One in Fashion Design and Dressmaking. The other in Jewellery Making. And I'm not stopping either. 

Some people are quick to say.. "You can't be that bad if you can do that!" Wowzaaaaz! 

How about this.. I'd be worse if I didn't do it.. I may not even be here.. or my favourite.. I actually refuse to sit back and let myself go! Yes I'm struggling, yes I've had far worse days.. yes I need help and support.. but first things first.. what can I do for me, for myself to help.. and I knew being able to express me within my clothes and jewellery and accessories.. actually helped me with my mental health. It released certain emotions in ways words, pictures and art can't. I can't dance anymore and that was probably 95% of who I was. But since my mobility and my health in general has deteriorated.. fashion, jewellery, shoes, bags.. they've become my centre stage. The most fabulous part of it all though.. 

I can combine everything together.. I can merge my words, my art, my stories as such into my fashion. This allows me to fully express myself and who I am.

And then my final help.. Advocating..

It almost speaks volumes within itself. And it's not just mental health related either.. I advocate for the disabled and spoonie community as a whole.. so visible, invisible, mental and physical health. 

I do this because sometimes.. you've got to be your own advocate.. and you've got to be the voice that's heard regardless if people chose ignorance or understanding. And it's not just me.. Loooooads of other spoonies advocate for themselves. Sharing their stories online or in public. Raising awareness so others don't have to struggle alone now or in the future. Connecting with others in a similar situation and supporting each other. 

We all have a right to help, support and treatment if it's needed. 

September is National Suicide Prevention Month.. with September 10th being Worldwide Suicide Prevention Day.

They hold significant relevance because they bring awareness to the importance of mental health, encourage open conversations, and remind individuals that they are not alone in their struggles. These initiatives aim to reduce the stigma around mental illness, promote resources for those in need, and emphasize the value of seeking help. Together, we can foster a supportive environment that prioritizes well-being and saves lives.

This month is so important.. and it's also one of the hardest. It reminds us of all those we've lost to suicide and MH.. it brightens up those who we nearly lost.. and it can open the door to those searching for the help and support.

Mental health and suicide can affect anyone.. and I mean anyone.. the world has lost so many amazing, talented, respected and the most kind hearted people going.. 

Robin Williams, Chester Bennington, tWitch, Alexander McQueen, Aviicii, Caroline Flack, Keith Flint, Jason David Frank, Lil Chris, Dave Mirra, Mark Speight, Verne Troyer, Bob Welch, Kurt Cobain.. and the list could go on.. 

All silent.. 

Please remember you are not alone.. but also look out for all those around you.. you honestly do not know what someone else is going through. Check in on those silent friends. The noisy friends. The ones who always check in on others. And the ones who stay hidden. Just because you don't see it or know about it or even understand it.. it doesn't mean you can't help in some way. 

A simple How are you.. or are you ok.. could make the light turn on and lead the way for someone in the dark and struggling to find their way.. 

Kindness, love, time.. all things that can make a profound difference in someone's life. These simple yet powerful acts have the ability to heal, uplift, and remind others that they are valued and cared for. In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, offering kindness, love, and time can be the most meaningful gifts we give.

Remember self care and self love isn't selfish.. 

You are your biggest supporter.. you are your biggest commitment.. So always look after yourself.