This Is Me!

For those who don't know me.. I'm Rae, I'm a disabled advocate, artist, designer, blogger, writer.. and just generally creative. Haha. 

My hair is always bright and funky colours, my mobility aids are bright and funky colours, my clothes and shoes are usually bright and funky colours.. (don't worry I do have formal attire that isn't OTT and in your face with colour! On these occasions my hair and mobility aids do allllll the colour talk haha!) 

I'm in my 30s and I live in the UK with my husband and our amazing and quirky neuro diverse kids. 

I live with multiple disorders, chronic illnesses and disabilities, which have completely flipped my life several 360s over the past 2/3 years. I've gone from being an able bodied person, helping others whenever I could to being the one needing help and care. Regardless of my illnesses and crappy health... I will do anything I can to find a positive out of a negative. 

And one thing that has helped me massively is art. 

Now I've always been arty or creative. I took art for my GCSEs, I spent most of my life drawing, colouring, doodling, painting, designing.. I've always had a creative flare. Art has always been a passion of my if I'm honest. But since becoming disabled and my health really deteriorating, I found art has become my therapy. 

It's my help, my go to, my happy place as such. Whether I'm feeling down and having a bad day, or it's a good day and I'm feeling happy and bright, or even a day with a flare up of symptoms and my mental health is having a spiral.. art.. art is my support! 

I've spent hours and hours, going over old skills and improving them.. I've spent days learning new skills, practising over and over until I found my rhythm. I taught myself things I didn't think I'd ever be able to do. 

I even took myself away from traditional art materials and really took a leap into my digital art using my iPad, ipencil and the app Procreate. And with that.. I use my skills to help advocate for the disability community.

As well as my art, another passion of mine which has turned into more then passion is my fashion. I have my own style and always have done since I was a teenager and it was down to me to get my clothes instead of rely on my mom to go buy my clothes. 

Since becoming disabled, my life going from non stop on my feet 15 plus hours a day, if not more with a family of 6, to needing days bed rest and not doing much but resting and recovering from busy days. I decided to get my qualifications for my fashion design and dressmaking. Buying clothes is one thing.. it means others have the same clothing garments as you, which means you could quite easily see someone random person wearing what your wearing.. Don't get me wrong.. it's an amazing feeling bumping into someone and they have the same exceptional taste as yourself.. haha.. but in all honesty, I like to be different, unique. And although I am a Primark girly at heart, I do love a good boutique/small business clothing shop. With that.. I knew what I wanted to do.. and I did. 

In 2022 I got a distinction in Fashion Design & Dressmaking. With that I've made my own tops, jumpers, bags, padding for my mobility aids, patches for bags and clothing. I knew that wasn't enough. 

Earlier this year, I completed and was graded for a Jewellery Making diploma. I can happily say I received a distinction in that diploma too. Jewellery was never an option for me, it wasn't a path I ever looked down or considered. I loved my art and fashion, and in a way, I combined the two. Putting my art onto my clothing as such. 

Jewellery however, I realised I could make my outfits even more bright and bold with my own jewellery too. But again, I used my newly taught skills and qualifications to help myself too. I not only create my own jewellery, but I use my beading and jewellery making skills within my fashion designing too. Making detailed beaded motifs and embellishments for tops and bags. 
I also use my beads to glitz up my mobility aids too where I can, which is always a good thing. Our mobility aids can not have enough bling on them! 

I must admit though, when it comes to my Art, Fashion Design and now my jewellery and accessories, advocating is always front of my mind. 

I can honestly say since becoming disabled and needing mobility aids daily to live a somewhat normal life, advocating has becoming a massive part of my life. I absolutely love it. I've always said.. Just one voice alone it's hard to be heard, but with all of us together, we will be heard, we will be listened too and will be acknowledged! Sometimes a tiny voice can get lost, if you shout in a group, your heard as such. 

And I'll happily say that that disabled community is absolutely amazing. The support, the love, the help, advice and encouragement, the stories and journies told and shared... it's encouraging, inspiring and makes me want to make a difference to the disabled community now and future disabled community. If we can make a difference now and make changes now.. maybe fewer people will suffer in the future. 

If medicine, treatment and knowledge is growing and evolving for as many disorders, illnesses, disabilities, diseases and other long term and terminal health issues, why can't everyone do the same for every community including the disabled community so there's more inclusion and less exclusion for whatever reason...?

And this is why I'm a big mouth when it comes to my mobility aids. My sticks. My crutches. My rollator. My powerchair. My toilet frames. My Perching stool. My heart monitor. My knee and wrist supports. Yep. All of it. I will not shut up about it. 

If your wondering why it's this.. 

Mobility Aids are for any age, any person. Not for a certain age group, or if the person is phycially disabled. There are invisible illnesses, disorders and disabilities as well as the physical ones! And from my own perspective and personal opinion.. I truly feel that there's more people living with invisible illnesses then the physically visible ones. And I say this because I lot of people stay silent hoping it either goes.. or because they aren't believed or listened too! 

But for me, my mobility aids gave me part of my life back. They gave me freedom, independence, hope, and most of all.. it gave me back being able to get out and enjoy the world outside my home again. It took me months to actually stop worrying about what others thought and do what I needed for me. 

And so.. after getting ny first pair of crutches, I decided I wasn't look back anymore.. that was the first day of the being me. And if people didn't like it.. tough! 

Now I'll be totally honest.. I've had set backs. Where people's comments, looks, points and stares have made me not want to go out or use certain mobility aids in public. I found it hard to post on my socials advocating for the community and to share my story. Even people that have a certain connection or relationship too made these types of comments. Which in turn, I lost all my confidence, self love and worth. I felt more like a burden then an asset as such! 

But.. I soon realised those comments and opinions were others negative traits not mine. 

I shouldn't be ashamed of myself.

I shouldn't be embarrassed of myself.

The only thing embarrassing and shameful are those who make fun of or make negative comments about others when they have no understanding and no knowledge. Whatever there life, situation, past or present! No matter what they've been through or what they're going through. No one has no right to be hurtful or nasty just because! 

So I decided to turn my focus into making sure more awareness is raised for those who need to use any form of mobility aid or medical device. 

My powerchair, my walking sticks, my crutches, my Rollator and every other piece of equipment I have.. they aren't just a piece of equipment, they are my life lines. My support. My independence. They give me the power to love me life the best I can.. and still being able to do things for myself instead of always relying on others to do it for me. If I need help.. I'll always happily ask for it.. but with these massively important aids and devices, I can try and do it for myself first. 

I can still be myself to some level.. and that's all anyone person wants and needs. To be able to be themselves. 

When I look back over the past few years, since my health seriously deteriorated and I became disabled. It hasn't always been a happy, rainbows and sunshine days. I've had my fair share of shit storms like anyone else. But I can honestly say, I don't think I'd be writing this now. 

Writing has massively helped me. Sharing my story, my journey and my posts on social media have helped me. Being able to share my experiences with others has helped me. 

My health may have stripped me of the confidence I have of myself.. but it's given me my creative spark back that I lost decades ago due to abuse I received. That creative spark in turn has led me to so many personal achievements that I can actually say.. with a smile on my face and a long a hard battle with myself..

I may not be perfect, and yes I have my bad days. But I'm happy with who I am. 

This Is Me!